I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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