then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
