You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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