If that was your dad, he is hot
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
