"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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