I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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