that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
