Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize