You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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