Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
