Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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