5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
