Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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