i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
