I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Pants are for mortals
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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