I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
