I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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