I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
