I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
