I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
