I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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