sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
