sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
