Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
