Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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