all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
