sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize