I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize