What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
