This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
