im holly from the hills drunk
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
