your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
