I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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