If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
