I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
