I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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