I CAN MOONWALK!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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