rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize