Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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