can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
