That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
