He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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