I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize