WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
