Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
