i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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