Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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