Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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