Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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