Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
