OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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