So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she peed on how many people?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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