That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
