My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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