I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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