Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
