Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
They have beer where we have blood.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize