2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I forget how to act sober
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
